three layers of identity - seen from the perspective of tissue and movement
It is like a love affair to which I surrender, and I give myself life. I don’t go looking for results, but rather commit myself to being fully present in my body. When I am willing to sense, feel and be my own embodied presence, no matter what conditions are arising, I become aware of my body as a gateway to liberation. A gateway to freedom. A gateway to love. Iconnect with the inherent, self-existing wakefulness that is already present within the body itself. I become aware of Life itself... I am Life itself! I am Love!
fluid body fluid life
the known and learned
perhaps we can say that we live in a culture bereft of undulating wave motion?
our daily way of being tends to lean towards a life that is far too higher-paced, where many of us tend to move in linear, automated and repetitive ways. Often with a tendency to be tensed up and focused.
Our fast pace has become the known, the learned, the needed, in order for us to live up to the demands of our lives. In this tensed and focused way our attention narrows in, and thus, unfortunately, causes a narrowing of our tissues which over time become dense and rigid.
being focused, on the go, etc, is of course extremely helpful. I have to be able to i.e. drive my car, be on alert and focussed in an emergency, etc. A fire starts whilst cooking, so I have to act fast; my child is about to cross the road, so I have to respond fast, here and now, and so forth.
my tissues are clever enough to support this action and provide me with the strength and focus that is required. However, if I constantly have to be “out there”, have to be engaged, on alert, push forward etc, I notice that I can forget to lean into myself and relax. In my speediness, I forget to stop and pause… So, with too much of this constant pressure, my tissues become contracted – stressed - my breathing becomes superficial, and my nervous system is in a constant state of continuous arousal if I’m not mindful and careful. This could come from many things: Relationships, daily meetings, problems, conflicts. Too many tasks. Accidents. Contacts. Traumas, etc…
in short, we all need be able to function in a kind of cultural anatomy. But problems begin when I, or we, remain too long in this state. I know for myself that I need to find a dynamic balance between this fight-flight response and my parasympathetic rest, and to continue to nourish and rejuvenate my nervous system through enough rest, silence and spaciousness, so that my tissue can re-soften, so that, I too, can re-soften and feel more at rest and grounded in my body – to know my own sense of ground. Do you recognise this in yourself? This inner struggle? This needing to find a better balance between speed and rest, fast and slow, noise and stillness, turning outward and turning inward?
so, what happens when I lower the pace and sink – begin to sink inwards?
in my daily practise of Continuum Movement, I support this through the way I breathe, the sounds I use, and the subtle movements I engage in or are intensely aware of.
by turning inward and engaging in somatic awareness I begin to calm my state of over-stimulation; I find myself beginning to melt and soften. My movement thus becomes more fluid, my perspective, my view of the situation and world around me becomes more expansive. I feel at ease within myself and in my connection to my surroundings.
one could say I become more watery because my connective tissue begins to switch from a relatively solid gel state to a more fluid state. It softens and spreads, becomes less dense, and, in this, I gain a larger sense of freedom and choice in how to respond.
as a result, I begin to experience more coherence and wholeness within myself. I sense that I become more permeable and spacious inside and experience more abundance in my way of meeting myself, others and the world. A kind of internal soft kindness, even tenderness, has arrived.
on a somatic level, my body moves more coherently. Instead of moving an arm or leg in isolation, my movement now flows through me as a whole. My movement even seems to resemble that of other organisms…
in this dissolved state, I get a sensate experience of leaning into the wisdom of other beings: the liquid strength and flexibility of the octopus, or the multifunctionality of a uni-cellular being (amoeba) or just my own breathing cells. I feel deeply connected inside and outside.
other times, I may sense myself as a small foetus that flows in the womb. Like the embryo, I feel myself as relatively unformed, undifferentiated. Gradually, the cells of the embryo become more differentiated, behave and appear as heart cells, bone cells, brain cells, etc. When differentiated in this way, they tend to remain on a track. A liver cell remains a liver cell. Muscle tissue remains as muscle tissue and so on.
when I, or you, melt into a more primordial state, we seem to differentiate. It is as if our cells and tissues are capable of becoming what is needed at that time.
in the same way, I can begin to experience that I can now manage more – not in the fast paced tensed up way – by as if I, with ease, can meet and form myself into whatever the situation demands of me. Filled with an inner abundance and vitality that provides me with unknown resources - one may say that I re-open the amazing potential of the early embryo.
embryo can be seen as spiralling water. Cosmos is also composed of spiralling water. As water, a highly resonant element, we resonate with the cosmos. Entering this primordial state, I have access to resources that I otherwise am cut off from in my daily life.
where the fast pace often is out of alignment with our innermost and sense of being anchored embodied, leaving us tense, sometimes even deprived of energy, stressed, tired etc., a slower pace and deeper sinking into the primordial anatomy can allow us to restore the balance of our nervous system and adapt to the subtle rhythms of life.
in my somatic inquiry, as I slow down the pace even more, my movement becomes more and more subtle – sometimes almost unnoticeable. Sometimes completely still.
here, I can experience the feeling of lightness because my tissues lose much of their density.
an arm or leg may feel as if it has been lifted by an invisible force and kept suspended within a larger field.
when this happens - and it doesn’t always I tell you - I feel nourished, rejuvenated, supported, fulfilled and replenished. YAY! I feel like returning to some mysterious source where I am fed and renewed. A place of feeling at total ease, and completely at home in myself. Nowhere to go, no need to be different, do more or less, just accepting myself just as I am, uniquely me…
whatever I might need seems to be more available in this state, and thus I am more ready to respond to, handle, and act upon what life might be presenting me.
it is as if time and space disappear. Time and space unite. A sense of some kind of expansion. A deep inner silence opens and provides me with energy, nourishment, peace and a deep-felt sense of freedom.
as with all meditative practices, it takes time to develop awareness of the body, awareness of the senses – AND most importantly BEING my senses – BEING LIFE FLOWING THROUGH ME – not just being aware of it, but ACTUALLY BEING it. It’s an ongoing practice – an ongoing practice for life.
it is like a love affair to which I surrender, and I give myself life. I don’t go looking for results, but rather commit myself to being fully present in my body. When I am willing to sense, feel and be my own embodied presence, no matter what conditions are arising, I become aware of my body as a gateway to liberation. A gateway to freedom. A gateway to love. Iconnect with the inherent, self-existing wakefulness that is already present within the body itself. I become aware of Life itself... I am Life itself! I am Love!
fluid Body Fluid Life is a meditative moving practice, based on the principles of Continuum Movement as a living inquiry, inviting us to reconnect to our true nature by tracking sensations, fluid micro-movements, spontaneous feelings, sensations, intuitions – the felt senses of the body itself as a fluid moving entity. We tune into the innate awareness of the body. The body is already in a meditative state, the domain of awakening, and all we are doing is trying to gain entry.
my next blog will offer a guided meditation to support this practice.